I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
