shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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