you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Everything about him screamed your future.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
