you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
don't judge my taste in strippers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need to calm my uterus...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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