it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The power of my boobs compel you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
