i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
