I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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