DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
