chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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