Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
