I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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