Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
