brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
