You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Oh god it's open bar.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
