My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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