if you like me you must not know who I am
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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