Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
