i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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