I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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