i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize