i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
