she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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