hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
