my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
