i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
