I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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