haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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