he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
