My hand turned me down
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
