i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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