Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
