You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize