She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
