Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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