Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm really busy with my period
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