me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
