She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
