Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
