Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
