Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
