Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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