I can tuck mytits in my pants
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
