The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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