NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
