I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
