If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
