forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
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I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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