PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
