It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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