I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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