i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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