i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize