they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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