rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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