i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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