...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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