I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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