i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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