dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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