I think I won the penis lottery.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
