you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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