Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
