My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
