I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize