Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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