What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
