My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
