you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
