you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
