It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
