does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
